this peom is dedicated to my little sis

……………………………..

Young and hopeless she may be

Thinking about what she's destined to be

A girl who lives in me

Her sadness is all I see

Young and hopeless she may be

Trying to find the key

To unlock her gate of happiness

And she's a survivor to me

Suffering from lack of self love

I wish she could see

How great she could be

And stop putting herself down

Let her greatness rise

And burry all her sins

Dear me

I ask you to believe in yourself like I do

I ask you to love yourself for who you are

..............................................................

plz help with the tittle's i donno what to name my poems

im the one to blame 

That's what they say

Making me feel the shame

Thinking that I'll beg them to stay

"failure" that's my name

Pile of ash, that's what I became

Waiting for the wind to blow me away

And no this is not a game

So we can't sit down and play

Your the one caused this pain

You're the one who made me fade

But you still don't care

Was this your goal ?

To stop me reaching my own ?

Silent u became

And walked away

well here is something i wrote i donno what to call it acctully,but plz if u read it and understood what i was saying plz help me , cuz men jed i donno what do do,,te3abt men nafssy..

why do i feel this way?? ,,why do i feel it everyday??

 and letting myself make the same mistakes again..

who's this girl i've become??,,i try to hide,but there is no where to run..

i've seen her before,but i can't recognize her anymore..

with smudges on her face...from tears that refuse to dry

trying to find her smile..and leave her sorrows behind

but she's loosing faith in herself , she's falling from grace,trying to find her place..

what's happening to the girl i used to know??

hey

so 1 of the resons i don't write here is that i hate talking about myself ,,i mean who cares about what im doing or how is my life going?? im not looking for an answer...

and yeah u know when u tell or think that this person ruined ur life or who u r,but quesion what if that  person was you??well thats my problem . i beleive that if die my life will be much better because im not in it .....i think my life is perfect and i appreciate everything around me ,and im so so so grateful that i have my mom . there is no one in this world like her ,she is what i call "an angel",i love u mom  and im sorry u deserve much much more,,,,i don't deserve having u as a mother..

i serously donno what happened to me....im not the nouf i know and i don't mean it in a good way,,its the complete oppisite..we all have this little person inside that tells us whats right and whats wrong what to do and what not to do,,and this person inside me is slowly fading this little girl i used to know is dying,,i want to get her back but how?

ppl tell me nouf stop ur being hard on urself ,well i fucking deserve it,,i may pull this smile and happy person to you,,but no one knows what im going through ,whats going through my mind ,what im suffering from ,how broken and sad i feel and no im not being dalo33a about it,,i know when i am and when im not..

i know that we all have problems and im not saying  that u guys have perfect lives because nothing is perfect,we all have problems no matter how different they r,and we all try to look for the answer or the selution...

nothing feels  better than a good relationship with god right? nothing is better than a strong faith in him,and when u get close to him no matter what happens he there...

loosing faith in god is the worst thing that could happpen to a person,,what keeps me alive is that i know the answer "why am i here?"....

god yenazell elmo9ebba for a person  to test him,,how he's going to handel it ,and if he's going to turn to him or not,,all we need is 9abber,,i used to ask myself why? but i relised that any question that starts with "why" is cuz god said so.. and we can't argue with that,but i don't mean we should say that with out us doing something,,for example i can't say that i failed cuz god says so and with out me trying hard to reach what i want ,,all we need is alittle faith and be puissant<<not sure about the spelling but i mean 9abber...

and i donno maybe mo9ebtty is me and i got to work on myself to be the best i can after all our goul is to be happy, to make god happy,and the ppl around us too thats the main goul for all of us and what we all trying to reach....

i always went the wrong way in doing things or reaching my goul,,but now i relized that u don't have to do all these things to reach it, 1st thing we should do is build a good relasionship with god and he'll lead us and help us through...

yeah i guess thats it.....bye

I read this and it realy inspired me so i just want to share these words of wisdom written by the Philosopher Daisaku Ikeda<<weird name i know but hey he is a genous.

   Death is something no one can escape from. It follows life as surely as night follows day, winter follows autumn or old age follows youth. People make preparations so that they won't suffer when winter comes. They prepare so they won't have to suffer in their old age. Yet how few people prepare for the even greater certainty of death!

   Modern society has turned its gaze away from this most fundamental issue. For most people, death is something to be feared, to be dreaded, or it is seen as just the absence of life — blankness and void. Death has even come to be considered somehow "unnatural."

   What is death? What becomes of us after we die? We can try to ignore these questions. Many people do. But if we ignore death, I believe that we are condemned to live a shallow existence, to live "hand to mouth" spiritually. We may assure ourselves that we will somehow deal with death "when the time comes." Some people keep busily engaged in a constant stream of tasks in order to avoid thinking about the fundamental issues of life and death. But in such a state of mind, the joys we feel will ultimately be fragile, shadowed by the inescapable presence of death. It is my firm belief that facing the issue of death can help bring real stability, peace and depth to our lives.

   What, then, is death? Is it just extinction, a lapse into nothingness? Or is it the doorway to new life, a transformation rather than an ending? Is life nothing more than a fleeting phase of activity preceded and followed by stillness and nonexistence? Or does it have a deeper continuity, persisting beyond death in some form or other?

   Buddhism views the idea that our lives end with death as a serious delusion. It sees everything in the universe, everything that happens, as part of a vast living web of interconnection. The vibrant energy we call life which flows throughout the universe has no beginning and no end. Life is a continuous, dynamic process of change. Why then should human life be the one exception? Why should our existence be an arbitrary, one-shot deal, disconnected from the universal rhythms of life?

   We now know that stars and galaxies are born, live out their natural span, and die. What applies to the vast realities of the universe applies equally to the miniature realms of our bodies. From a purely physical perspective, our bodies are composed of the same materials and chemical compounds as the distant galaxies. In this sense we are quite literally children of the stars.

   The human body consists of some 60 trillion individual cells, and life is the vital force that harmonizes the infinitely complex functioning of this mind-boggling number of individual cells. Each moment, untold numbers of cells are dying and being replaced by the birth of new cells. At this level, daily we experience the cycles of birth and death.

   On a very practical level, death is necessary. If people lived forever, they would eventually start to long for death. Without death, we would face a whole new array of problems—from overpopulation to people having to live forever in aged bodies. Death makes room for renewal and regeneration.

   Death should therefore be appreciated, like life, as a blessing. Buddhism views death as a period of rest, like sleep, by which life regains energy and prepares for new cycles of living. Thus there is no reason to fear death, to hate or seek to banish it from our minds.

   Death does not discriminate; it strips of us everything. Fame, wealth and power are all useless in the unadorned reality of the final moments of life. When the time comes, we will have only ourselves to rely on. This is a solemn confrontation that we must face armed only with our raw humanity, the actual record of what we have done, how we have chosen to live our lives, asking, "Have I lived true to myself? What have I contributed to the world? What are my satisfactions or regrets"

   To die well, one must have lived well. For those who have lived true to their convictions, who have worked to bring happiness to others, death can come as a comforting rest, like the well-earned sleep that follows a day of enjoyable exertion.

   I was impressed a few years ago to learn of the attitude of a friend of mine, David Norton, professor of philosophy at the University of Delaware, toward his own approaching death.

   When he was only seventeen, the young David had become a "smoke jumper," a volunteer fire fighter who parachuted into inaccessible areas to cut trees and dig trenches to keep fires from spreading. He did this, he said, in order to learn to face his own fear.

   When, in his mid sixties, he was diagnosed with advanced cancer, he faced death head-on and found that the pain did not defeat him. Nor did he find dying a lonely or solitary experience, according to his wife, Mary. She later told me that he felt he was surrounded by all his friends and said that her husband had faced death without fear, regarding it as "another adventure; the same kind of test as facing a forest fire."

   "I guess the first thing about such an adventure," Mary said, "is that it's an opportunity to challenge yourself. It's getting yourself out of situations that are comfortable, where you know what goes, and where you don't have to worry. It's an opportunity to grow. It's a chance to become what you need to be. But it's one that you must face without fear."

   An awareness of death enables us to live each day—each moment—filled with appreciation for the unique opportunity we have to create something of our time on Earth. I believe that in order to enjoy true happiness, we should live each moment as if it were our last. Today will never return. We may speak of the past or of the future, but the only reality we have is that of this present instant. And confronting the reality of death actually enables us to bring unlimited creativity, courage and joy into each instant of our lives.

Telling myself not to give up

Until the sun shines up

I will never give up

Traped in my own shadow

A prisoner of my feers

Looking at her from a broken window

Trying to reach out

But the broken glass keeps holding me back

Cutting me into so many little peices if I try to touch her

Hearing voices telling me to take a step back

You'll never make it to the other side

Just like every try

You'll fall down and cry

I close my eyes

Try to shut them out

Just like what I did to my history

And baried all of my memories

I don't know who I am anymore

I want her back

I need my soul back

............

Here we are once again

I'll turn myself at the end

This is something I never thought I'd say

I know you'll forget me

I know you'll forget who,what,and where I am

There is a better part of me

i hope you'll see

But it seems to be

That you don't want to be here,here with me

Why can't I ever bring myself to say goodbye?

Before my loneliness comes to pass?

Acting stuped,wanting to make you laugh

hating myself,pretening I'm someone else

But refuse to be me

Ashamed and afraid 

What have I done to me?

Lost in my memories

Can't sleep

Want you out of my dreams

I've been locked down for so long

My heart is baried too far down

Driving on this roud for days

I will never fall in love again

But this silence wont last

I got my finger on the trigger

Hoping and praying it would slip

With every regret

With every single word u said

You're the one killing me

..........

 

hiiiiii u guys,i know its been a long long long time,,but hey as if someone reads this crap,anyway i was thinking since i got nothing to talk about and all, i thought that i could post my poems and u guys judge.i mean tell me what u realy think,don't lie plz cuz i swear i wont get mad or anything i want u to tell me what u trully think so i could change to the better.

ohhh and im doing this cuz my little sis keeps bugging me about it=p so this is for u little sis

poems  ARE COMING SOON.....

im realy sorry that i didn' write a thing in months, but i don't think that i'll write anything these days or MONTHS lol  , i wanna tell u the story that meesh talked about but not  now ,sorry again.

bye

so i went to meesh house and it was realy fun we took some cool pics of us and meesh looked so cool i was trying to pull off the Xs in my eyes like frank of my chemical romance..i realy wanna know how did the pics turned out and meesh i love the fact that u were there for me for that i thank u.....and HEEY GUESS WHAT????? I SLEPT OVER AT REEM'S HOUSE YESTURDAY..YAY!!

i had so much fun *thankx reem*the funny part is that we didn't plan it i was like" reem im bored and no1 is in the house and my parents wont come back untill 3:30am" so she was like plz namy 3endy and im like ok but i gotta ask mom and i have the coolest mom in the world she acctuley said yes so i was like reem she said YES...and both of us were screaming*lol*so i packed my stuff and reem tolled me to gett some ice-cream

ok so i went to her house and her mom is the sweetest thing she started huging and kissing i trully consider her as my mom...so reem and i chated , watched tv,and got online and at 12:45am we went to elmasjed and the 2emam wow mashalla got the greatest voice and when he started yed3y every1 started crying and reem and i were like tearing up..anyway so we got back and nora*her sis* and i started chating and talking about health , diets and all that<<witch is my speacalty nora is cool and its kind off flatering that she would even talk to me cuz she's so much older than me..anyway so we ate s7oor ,wore our pj's then watched a movie called"last holiday" for queen lateffa<who i love but the movie was busted .. reem and i were getting sleepy anyway so we went to bed ...she slept on the floor and im in her bed*so comphy* ...

i got up by her moms voise telling nouf to pray it was like 1:00pm but i didn't wanna wake reem cuz she looked so cute sleeping so i waited hoping she'll wake up waited,waited and waited but when it was like 2:30 i was so bored so i woke her up

so we changed and got online but no1 was there so we started watchin TV and "al2embara6orra" came up but i don't realy watch it so i was reading meggazines while she's watching it...it ended at 5:00 so we had to get our f6oor ready anyway we had breakfast while we were watching  "yes dear"

after that we got online again saloooo6 was there *I MISS U SO MUCH HOPE UR HAVING FUN IN SHARGIA* anyway so reem and saloo6 had a stuped fight about a nick name and i was pissed at '3addo cuz she wont leave laudrey alone<no1 so i was like plz plz i'll give u other pics but leave her alone and she's like no and im like no?? plz 3'adda anyway she did in the end cuz saloo6 ya 7belha helped me finding some cute pics for '3adda

ok back to reems house...yesterday we spend the night at her balcony it was so nice the weather,the view everything..we were drinking coffee and chilling on our ipod it was so romanticBUT god!! i gotta say it i can't hold it OK OK  so reem and i were like dreamy and talking and SUDDENLLY a guy  pulled over right infront of us *but it was so dark he couldn't see us*anyway started peeing for crying out loud and reem and i were like EWWWWWW  5arab eljaw....but we were like "hey here is a story to tell"

ohhh did i tell u?? now im into arabic music the slow ones like 7seen eljasmy<althu i have always loved him.., marwan 5orry ,fa'9el shaker and shereen ohh i love her song what is it reem??

so althu i was having so much fun at reem's but i was just thinking about my mom and how much i miss her and today i get to see her so she came to pick me up and the hole ride i was huging her...and today was so fun no men in the housemy dad and bader r in braida..so it was like  mother and daughter time

and today at 8:00pm amal*cos*and i r going shoping,it just that i love her taste in clothes and shehana 2...anyway its 7 o'clock now so im gonna go get ready

bye bye