hey

so 1 of the resons i don't write here is that i hate talking about myself ,,i mean who cares about what im doing or how is my life going?? im not looking for an answer...

and yeah u know when u tell or think that this person ruined ur life or who u r,but quesion what if that  person was you??well thats my problem . i beleive that if die my life will be much better because im not in it .....i think my life is perfect and i appreciate everything around me ,and im so so so grateful that i have my mom . there is no one in this world like her ,she is what i call "an angel",i love u mom  and im sorry u deserve much much more,,,,i don't deserve having u as a mother..

i serously donno what happened to me....im not the nouf i know and i don't mean it in a good way,,its the complete oppisite..we all have this little person inside that tells us whats right and whats wrong what to do and what not to do,,and this person inside me is slowly fading this little girl i used to know is dying,,i want to get her back but how?

ppl tell me nouf stop ur being hard on urself ,well i fucking deserve it,,i may pull this smile and happy person to you,,but no one knows what im going through ,whats going through my mind ,what im suffering from ,how broken and sad i feel and no im not being dalo33a about it,,i know when i am and when im not..

i know that we all have problems and im not saying  that u guys have perfect lives because nothing is perfect,we all have problems no matter how different they r,and we all try to look for the answer or the selution...

nothing feels  better than a good relationship with god right? nothing is better than a strong faith in him,and when u get close to him no matter what happens he there...

loosing faith in god is the worst thing that could happpen to a person,,what keeps me alive is that i know the answer "why am i here?"....

god yenazell elmo9ebba for a person  to test him,,how he's going to handel it ,and if he's going to turn to him or not,,all we need is 9abber,,i used to ask myself why? but i relised that any question that starts with "why" is cuz god said so.. and we can't argue with that,but i don't mean we should say that with out us doing something,,for example i can't say that i failed cuz god says so and with out me trying hard to reach what i want ,,all we need is alittle faith and be puissant<<not sure about the spelling but i mean 9abber...

and i donno maybe mo9ebtty is me and i got to work on myself to be the best i can after all our goul is to be happy, to make god happy,and the ppl around us too thats the main goul for all of us and what we all trying to reach....

i always went the wrong way in doing things or reaching my goul,,but now i relized that u don't have to do all these things to reach it, 1st thing we should do is build a good relasionship with god and he'll lead us and help us through...

yeah i guess thats it.....bye